Even the rain
by Princess Alexis
Summary: Jasper weighs up the pros and cons of his life.


A/n: This is for my most faithful reviewer ever Elliroc. I hope you like it, if you don't I will remove that line. This is just something that came to me the other day while listening to the windscreen wipers, as strange as it sounds. I hope you all enjoy it, please review, even if you just say 'good' I don't mind, reviews make me ecstatic.

Even the rain.

I parked the car in the now deserted parking lot. It was late; all of the humans were at home, more than likely asleep. I turned off the engine, along with the lights and music, allowing only the windscreen wipers to continue their rhythmic squelching of the windscreen. I laid the seat back and became somewhat mesmerised by the sound of the wipers, it was constant and peaceful. I had never liked the rain much as a human, and now, although it was like a life preserver, thrown to someone drowning at sea, I still didn't like it. In a sense, I was drowning, though not at sea. I was drowning on dry land, well, land at least. Being a vampire is hard to say the least. Acting like a human is almost unbearable. Watching as people went about their everyday life, having families and growing old was heart wrenching. I became lost in a memory from my human life.

I was young, talking to my siblings about the inevitable, growing up, growing old and dying. Like most, if not all, children, we were enjoying our childhood and never wanted it to end, so we made a pact. A childish pact to never grow up, grow old or die. I had succeeded more than we had ever even imagined, but being youngish forever wasn't as great as I'd imagined all those years ago. For starters, my brothers and sisters were supposed to be here, but they had died centuries ago. And being a vampire wasn't really what we had in mind; it had a lot of cons. It had its good points as well but it always seemed that they were drowned in a sea of things that made this life hard.

I decided to make a mental list of all of the pros and cons of this life and compare them, just to see if it was as bad as I thought or if I could put it into perspective a little better. Being an empath, that was a hard one to decide. While it could frustrate me to no end, it did have its uses occasionally. After a few minutes, I decided that it didn't really have a side, it was a fence sitter. Not aging was definitely a good point, although I would like to be a little older to avoid the school façade, it was kind of comforting to know that I never had to rush to do anything. Everything that I wanted to do in my life did not have to be squashed into eighty-odd years. The appearance that came with being a vampire. Another plus, while it drew a little more attention, being stunningly handsome was a great feeling. Immense strength and super speed. Another plus, although I hated having to control it, I loved it.

It started to rain harder, which pulled me out of my thoughts; I flicked the wipers to the faster speed, listening as the pace picked up. I liked it faster; the rhythm seemed so much better, so much more alive. I slowly drifted back to my list. I missed sleeping and dreaming. I missed eating 'people food'. I hated the fact that my instincts told me to kill people to live. I wished that I could erase the memories of horrible things that I had done, and was capable of doing again. I hated not being able to make friends like humans could. I hated not being able to go into the sunlight because I loved the sun and how my skin shimmered like glitter. I hated moving all the time, even though I knew it was necessary. It saddened me to think that I could never have a real family; I couldn't have children of my own. I despised the smell of blood, though I longed for it. I hated having to pretend being something I'm not, I wanted to be able to release some control, not to kill people, but just because it's who I am. I wanted to be able to run rather than drive, simply because it was so much faster, wanted to lift things with ease, like I could, rather than pretend it was heavy. Just trivial little things that irked me because I could only do it at home. I sighed, it was true after all, according to my mental list, the positives were drowning in a sea of negatives. I sat the seat upright again, deciding to go home when a face appeared at my window. With a smile, I opened my door and stood facing my visitor. She hugged me tightly and I kissed her softly, tasting the rain that had fallen on her perfect lips. She grabbed my hand tightly, a childish grin on her face.

"What are you planning?" I asked cautiously.

She giggled, "Come play Jazzy, come play in the rain. I want you to jump in the puddles with me."

I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm and nod. The next few minutes were spent playing in the rain like children, trying to make the biggest splashes in the puddles, and in those few minutes I realised something. I realised that the negatives were actually outweighed by the positives. I could endure the endless list of things I hated about being a vampire as long as Alice was by my side forever. Alice made it all bearable, even the rain.

A/N: Love it? Hate it? Please let me know.

Princess Alexis.


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